Today, I'm alone.
My girlfriend of two years who was also my fiance broke up with me today... I have little doubt in my mind that it's temporary, but that doesn't make it any more pleasant. I was the only real relationship she'd ever had, and I think she wants to go through a couple other boyfriends to be certain that I'm the right one.
I believe she'll be back, but in the meantime, the waiting and the loneliness are going to really suck. I don't really want to get into too much personal stuff on this blog, but this...
Even with my personal conviction that she'll be coming back to me in time, this feels like a stab through the heart with a white-hot knife. I want it all to be just a nightmare. But at the same time, I think she really needs this.
I'll let her have her space and her time, and I'll be waiting with open arms when she comes back. In the meantime, I'm trying to decide if I should date other people as well, whether it's for my sake or even just to make the idea of losing me a reality for her... In truth, I'm so certain of her that even the concept of dating other people seems silly, especially given how much I trust and hope that this isn't really over.
Maybe I'm making this harder on myself. Maybe I just can't accept reality. Or maybe she really does need a little time and then she'll be home. I choose to believe and trust in that third possibility.
Love conquers all, you know.
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